When you think about weapons that could land someone in prison for five years, a fast food ketchup packet probably doesn’t come to mind. But that’s exactly the situation one Florida man finds himself in after an altercation at a bus terminal turned his condiment toss into a third-degree felony.
- Austin Simmons, 28, was arrested on Monday, January 19, following an incident inside a Florida bus terminal where he allegedly struck another person with an opened ketchup packet.
- The incident would normally be treated as misdemeanor battery, but Simmons was charged with a third-degree felony because of a previous conviction for battery in 2019.
- The maximum penalty is five years in state prison, and Simmons remains behind bars on the enhanced criminal count.
What Actually Happened at the Bus Terminal
The story reads like something from a comedy sketch, but the legal consequences are anything but funny. According to reports, Carlos Mora checked on a seemingly passed out Simmons, who “woke up irate,” approached the victim, and threw the ketchup packet.
The arrest affidavit states Mora suffered “two spots of ketchup on his jacket” from the alleged condiment attack. Yes, you read that correctly. Two spots of ketchup. That’s the extent of the physical evidence in this case.
Officers wrote that they did notice the packet “on the ground opened with ketchup pouring out,” but opted against taking it in as evidence. One can only imagine the crime lab’s reaction if that soggy packet had shown up for processing.
The Suspect’s Side of the Story
Simmons isn’t taking these accusations lying down. He has denied any wrongdoing, claiming he was simply “giving the victim a ketchup packet.” That’s a defense you don’t hear every day in court.
There’s a stark difference between lobbing a condiment at someone in anger and offering them a packet for their fries. The court will eventually have to sort out which version of events holds up. But regardless of intent, Simmons’ past caught up with him in a major way.
How a Ketchup Packet Becomes a Felony
Under normal circumstances, throwing a ketchup packet at someone would result in a misdemeanor battery charge at worst. You’d probably get a fine, maybe some community service, and a story to tell at parties. But Florida law has provisions that change everything when past offenses enter the picture.
The ketchup packet throwing became a third-degree felony due to Simmons’ prior conviction. His 2019 battery conviction means any subsequent battery charge automatically gets bumped up to a more serious offense.
The charge is felony battery, and the maximum penalty is five years in state prison. For context, that’s longer than some people serve for car theft or drug possession. All over a condiment packet.
Additional Troubles for Simmons
The ketchup incident wasn’t the only problem Simmons faced that day. After a search led to the discovery of a substance later identified as cocaine, Simmons was also charged with possession of a controlled substance.
So now he’s dealing with both a felony battery charge stemming from the ketchup attack and drug possession charges. His legal situation went from strange to seriously complicated in a matter of hours.
Another Chapter in Florida Man Lore
Florida Man stories have become an internet phenomenon over the years. There’s something about the Sunshine State that produces headlines you couldn’t make up if you tried. From alligator wrestling to bizarre burglary attempts, Florida consistently delivers the weirdest crime stories in America.
This ketchup packet case fits right into that tradition. It’s absurd on the surface, but it also shows how prior convictions can turn minor incidents into life-altering situations. Someone without Simmons’ history would have walked away with a slap on the wrist. Instead, he’s facing years behind bars.
If convicted, Simmons faces up to five years in prison. That’s a long time to think about whether throwing that ketchup packet was worth it.
When Your Past Catches Up Over a Condiment
Criminal history follows you everywhere. What might seem like a minor altercation can spiral into something far worse when prior offenses are on your record. Prosecutors have the authority to enhance charges based on previous convictions, turning misdemeanors into felonies.
For Simmons, a moment of frustration at a bus terminal could cost him half a decade of freedom. The ketchup packet itself was harmless. The legal consequences are not. Whether you think the punishment fits the crime or not, the law is clear about repeat offenders facing stiffer penalties.
As Simmons awaits his day in court, this might be the first time in Florida legal history that a condiment packet played a starring role in a felony case. And knowing Florida, it probably won’t be the last.
Emily Thompson